First off, let me apologize to all the people I have spoken to in the last couple of years who have asked me how I am. My response has invariably been, "Busy." Which, I've decided, is a crap answer. In my defense, I really meant it. I sincerely believed that the word that summed up how I am was "Busy."
But what does that even mean? I used to think it meant I have so many different jobs and work responsibilities that I'm unable to do a whole bunch of other things, although I'm not even sure what those things are.
I now think it means something else. When I say I'm busy, it really means my time is bleeding away from me in a manner that I don't really comprehend and can't even keep track of.
I'm anxious about that. I wish I didn't feel so pressed. But I realize that, "Busy" must have sounded kind of self-important.
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